I've been thinking a lot about how I am as a person. Single, at work, with friends… I have come to the conclusion that I don't do well with people who constantly need to impress people and/or be the clown to feel better about themselves, who judge others to raise themselves up, who must do or have something because, otherwise, what would people think??? I have the carnage of history behind me to prove that point.
I love who I am. Right now. As a single woman. I am calm, happy, dare I say care free, and no longer battling. No longer feeling less than because I don't measure up to expectations. No longer numb. I find myself getting very irritated very quickly with the "pay attention to me" attitude when I am confronted with it. I turn away, thankful that I have a different outlook, one that I value greatly and never want to give up or suppress for anyone in my future. If I ever decide to put myself out there again… oh, dear Lord, I can't even think about that right now. Happy girl!
Happy FAT girl. Oy! The two plus years of serious depression and depression meds, focusing on the inside instead of the outside, have made me rolly polly all over again. Hello unwanted pounds I already shed! How did you come back so quickly and when I wasn't looking? Now that I am nearly weened completely off of the meds and am of sound mind - well, semi-sound, none of us can say we are of completely sound minds - it's time to think about getting the sound body. Of course, we all know what is good for us. Good ol' fashioned exercise and a balanced diet. Sooo boring. Right? Sorry, li'l pumpkin! No other way around it. Strap on those shoes , get off your ass, and start walking.
After a nap...
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