Well, it's done. The divorce is final. Very bittersweet with a sense of relief. A relief for the finality of it. He moved on as soon as he could well before the final verdict - I've been completely replaced by a "friend". It doesn't help that I am finally expressing myself, and that is "inappropriate and detrimental to others". Yeah. Bullshit. Being replaced hurts, but it's a hurt that I will get over. Knowing that, in the long run, the best decision for that current situation was made. Cowardice or bravery, it doesn't matter. It's done. Breathe in the good air, and out with the bad air. In with the good, out with the bad. Ahhhhhh!
Focusing on the present and dreaming of the future is what I'm doing now. ALOT of dreaming! So much so that I'm pinching every single penny out of financial necessity to keep the spending down and increase the travel opportunities. It'll take a long time on my current salary, so I've been working on that, too. The down side to that is I'm not doing much. Walking around, okay. Watching movies, alright. staring at the ceiling, yawn… pretty boring, when you get right down to it. :) It is giving me quite a bit of time to think and continue to work on myself, interruption free. But even I get sick of myself after awhile. As interesting as I think I am, I'm really not all that interesting. Even I stop laughing at my jokes!
So, I will probably break out the camera and venture out over the weekend. I haven't done that in a very long time. I haven't felt like it. I always felt like I was being pushed into doing things for the impression it would make on others. That's tarnished many things for me, but I need to start taking all of that back to have more joy again. So, the camera battery will be charged for Saturday/Sunday excursions. Where? No idea. Maybe I'll hop on the train to Brooklyn and get off wherever I feel like it. Flushing Meadows Park? Chinatown? Bronx Zoo? Botanical Gardens in Queens? Hmmmmm….
Any suggestions? Wanna come with?
<3
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