Ready to Fly

Life is getting a little crazy. Good crazy, not bad crazy, but it's still a bit stressful to deal with it. I have never been one to enjoy anything crazy because I always had to keep the order, keep the peace, tow the line, so someone else could be footloose and fancy free. I really hated that about myself, but I could never say no to the responsibility and disappoint in yet another instance. No more. I feel like I'm beginning to fly by the seat of my pants. And I kinda like it!

One of the things I did was take a vacation. By myself. For myself. A gift to myself. Could I afford it? No. But I did it anyway. I was looking to recharge my batteries and find passion again for photography. I succeeded in doing both. I woke up everyday, when I wanted to. I decided what to do, when I wanted to.  I took photos of whatever I wanted, when I wanted to.  I LOVED it. Aside, of course, from it being commonly known as a big lesbian weekend at this little hot spot - I was the square peg in the round hole = not a lesbian, oy vey! - but I still loved it. And I loved the photographs I got as a result. And the passion for it I found again.

What an amazing feeling it is when you find something that you lost. That, perhaps, you thought you had lost forever.

Photography is still very new to me, so I have a lot of exploring and catching up to do. I found photography at a time in my life when it was already a quivering mess. I latched onto it but couldn't make a serious go of it because I was surrounded by too much emotional wreckage. I couldn't look up. I couldn't look forward. I could only look down. Now? I'm looking up. I'm looking forward. I'm not looking down.

I'm looking to fly.