Get along, little doggy...

Traveling. That is one thing that I have not done, that I've always said no to, because I was/still am afraid of flying. It's the height that terrifies me. As well as the crashing factor. It absolutely boggles my mind that people willingly pay money to fly in a bullet with wings that could just drop out of the sky. It's like finding out that someone who says, "I'm on your side!", then they run away from you. Insane!

HOWEVER, I am gaining new perspective. I am feeling freer than I have in a really long time. I am feeling freer to be myself, to do what I want. I don't have the pressure of doing something to impress someone. If I do something or don't do something, it is my choice and no one else's business. Nice! I am choosing to do what I want to do, and not to satisfy someone else. Constraints are gone, my yes is coming back, and I'm starting to feel adventurous. I have nothing holding me back. I'm a free bird!

So, I am saving my pennies and deciding where all I want to go. So many possibilities! I would rather avoid the tourist traps, because I don't care if I am seen or not. The Caribbean? Nice, but everyone goes there. That's a place to be seen. But that could be a nice, short trip. How about a longer one? Sweden? Mother Russia? Iceland to see the Northern Lights? Thailand? Berlin? Northern Canada even?

The thing is, I don't want to go just to go. I want to go with a purpose. Even if that purpose is to meditate and reflect on my life. To live in someone else's shoes for a day. To explore and confirm that there is more to life than impressing and coddling and being likable. So, where to?

I like that. 

Acknowledge!

Self reflection. Many loathe those words! Many fear those words. Many avoid those words at all cost. It's never pretty when the blame game meets self justification. My response?

Shut the fuck up. Listen. Stop going to your yes men - or women - for your sympathy and self justification. When you go to others for your answers instead of focusing on the truth from within, the answers you get are wrong. Flip your switch from pouty child to responsible adult and accept your part. No one person is to blame. Playing the blame game gets you nowhere because there are two sides to everything. It's time to pull up your big boy or girl panties and acknowledge that.

Acknowledge silence.

Acknowledge truth.

Acknowledge self value and self worth.

Acknowledge value in others instead of making them feel "less than" due to your perception of their flaws.

Acknowledge and accept imperfection in yourself and others.

The path to emotional freedom and well being is not through others but through yourself. No one can make you happy because of what they can do for you. Only you can make you happy with what you can do for yourself. Stop looking to the outside for your happiness. That's just noise and distraction and temporary. Find it from within what resides in us all.

And no, I'm not reading a bunch of self help books. I am reading, but I'm not following someone else's "10 Steps to Happiness!". It is true self reflection. This is about me. You think it's about you? Why? Does something strike a chord or nerve and force a reaction from you? Okay. Then it's about you, too.

I'm gonna let that stew for awhile. Marinate. Infuse and spread.