From Indianapolis to New York City

How do I begin? My blog/my day?/my life? My world has changed since we moved from Indianapolis to New York City five months ago.  I've left behind all that is familiar. Comfortable. Safe. Sure, we brought all of our "stuff" with us, and we've vacationed in the City so many times before, but this is different. Now, perhaps for the first time, I am noticing how little of me there is in my life. I've covered it up with working and school and... but now that I'm in a new city, the Big Apple, and I have free time, the covers won't stay on. I am face to face with the fact that it's make or break time. Who am I? What do I want to be? What can I contribute? Hmmmmm...

It's hard for some to understand, I know. Most people just dive in and say, "Okay. This is where I am, so this is what I'm going to do." But my mind is swimming. For the first time in a long time, I don't have a clear path. I have so many things I want to try, but I am unsure of how to try. Doubt and fear and insecurity are obscuring it all. And it's because what I want to try is not the safe, stable route. I've always gone for the safe and stable. I think about going for that again, and I feel like sobbing.

So, this is the beginning of my journey. Of my journey of self-exploration, of trying something new, and forgetting about the safe and secure option. So what, I say, to what others think. So what, I say, to the doubt and insecurity. So what, I say, to the fear that is holding me back.

No more. It may not be your timing, but this is my time. And it's going to take as long as it takes.

Step one: check.